There were many bits of paper nailed on the notice board. Requests to kill monsters by farmers and to rescue kidnapped family members and so on. Nothing special. I was looking for something easy and quick when a quest for three random adventurers caught my attention. All the notes were written in the same neat feminine handwriting so I guessed the same person wrote them all. The task was to clear an orc lair that had been bothering the farmers around the town. The quest giver was Bartholomew, the mayor, not that I cared but the reward (rolled 1d10 for 70) of 14 platinum pieces for each adventurer was certainly enticing. There had to be some catch but I figured as long as I was with two other adventurers I would only have to outrun them if things go bad. With 70 gold pieces I won’t have to worry about my food rations running out for a while.
When I was done looking at the board I noticed that that bitter elf was nowhere to be seen. All the other notices were for quests that were either too hard or paid too little.
I moved to the counter across the tavern lady, a blue haired large breasted beauty. She smiled at me in a business-like manner that seemed to ask ‘How may I help you?’
I asked her about the quest I took notice of.
“Ah you must mean [rolled 1d6+1d10 for 6 and 50) quest no. 506. That quest has already got one adventurer assigned to it.” as she said so she grabbed a pair of old thick round spectacles you would expect on an old grey bearded scholar from in between her breasts and set them on her eyes whose pupils now looked too large. The spectacles were completely hidden by her mammaries so it looked like she pulled them out of thin air. She pulled an old tome from beneath the booze counter, opened it on a seemingly random page and began to run her finger down slowly.
“Ah,” she exclaimed. “It was certain dwarf gentleman who applied for this quest first. You will need one more party member to take on this quest but you can apply for now if you join this guild.”
Yeah this was the part I did not like. How much were they going to make me pay to join…
Noticing my expression she smiled reassuringly.
“Don’t worry if you want to join our guild it will only cost you twenty gold pieces and you will have access to all our adventurers guilds across the realm.” she said through her inscrutable smile.
I needed work so I just paid her twenty-five gold and got a tin plate for it as a beginner adventurer. I also learned that the tavern lady’s name was Helen by ovehearing some overeager patrons talking over our conversation. Just as I was about to put my lighter feeling pouch back onto my belt I was caught off guard by the wide-eyed gaze of Schrodinger’s elf. That hostile elf girl was back and I frowned at her but there was no malice in her eyes and so I soon realised she wasn’t looking at me at all but towards my hand and towards the gold piece pouch in my hand.
I panned over my pouch sideways and up and down and her eyes followed it. I chuckled once and then catching herself she finally looked at me coldly at which I stopped chuckling.
Before the situation could degrade further and let’s be honest I wasn’t in the best of shape, I felt something soft and warm on my shoulder. I looked at it. It was a hand and I followed it over the counter to Helen who was still wearing those funny old round glasses which made her eyes look large. Oh and she had her smile on as usual. Was she smiling even as I killed that blue haired woman? No, I would have noticed if she had, after all the forces of gravity had drawn my eyes towards her bosom from the very start.
“This is Lyndis, the elf priestess,” said Helen pointing with her open hand over my shoulder at this annoying, annoyed elf. “She is a newcomer as you are but she lacked the funds to join the guild.” Explained Helen.
Lyndis smiled at Helen but then frowned when our eyes met. “Unfortunately she doesn’t speak Common so she is need of some help.” Continued Helen.
“So?” I asked.
“If you pay for her fees I will give you a fifteen gp discount on your guild membership and you will get half of her rewards for this quest as compensation provided that you succeed of course.”
“Deal.” I replied. I had no intention of failing this quest. Plus I could do with some priestess’ healing right now.
After Helen explained to Lyndis what was going on to my surprise Lyndis bowed deeply to thank me for my help in getting into the guild. I guessed this was her price.
The helpful Helen, her smile intact and her thick round glasses gone, also gave us two pieces of paper where she had just written the location and time for the quest. The location was north west where I had camped and being assaulted last night. I guess it was time to say hello to some orcs who ruined my night and to some dwarf.